10 tips to 'feel better' everyday
Now that we’re in the second month of the new year, how are you going with your new year’s resolutions?
If you’re like a lot of people, it might be something like ‘exercising more’, ‘losing weight’, ‘spending more time with family’, or ‘be more healthy’. In essence, the thing these resolutions have in common is feeling better that you did in the last year.
I recently met a Kylie Vemeer, who runs a program called Body Mind Tuneup, and discovered that her program is all about getting the right mindset, and feeding your body the right nutrients, so that you can feel better. I can’t tell you how many times someone tells me they have to stop dancing because of something like low energy, aches and pains, wanting to lose weight first, or something related to not feeling up to dancing. So I was very interested to find out more about Kylie’s program so I can help more people stay involved in dance, rather than giving it up and ending up feeling even worse.
During our conversation, Kylie gave me 10 tips about how to ‘feel better’.
Kylie didn’t start out by planning to work in the wellness area. Instead, she went through her own health journey, then found that others asked her to help them as well. This started as informal gatherings with friends, and has now become a business.
Many people come to Kylie wanting to lose weight, but what they really want is more energy and vitality.
See the image on the left the difference in Kylie herself before and after the MindBody Tuneup.
Kylie’s 10 tips to feel better everyday:
- Get rid of those niggling problems
- Work out why you haven’t made change yet
- Find rewards that work
- Use self talk to create a positive mindset
- Supplement your nutrition and your mindset
- Know your purpose
- Track down your inspiration
- Dig deep to work out what you really want
- Focus on what you can do
Keep reading to dig deeper …
1. Get rid of those niggling problems
As we go through life, we seem to kind of slow down. Perhaps you feel less energetic, gained a kilo or two, or stop doing things you used to do, but you didn’t really notice it. Kylie finds that most of us could feel better than we do now, we just don’t realise it.
“We can all go along and think everything is okay. But to continue to do what you already do, and to also do it a little bit better, you need to think about raising your health to the next level or even a few levels up.”
“In the context of dance that could mean that you feel okay in your day to day life, but when you dance something is niggling. You want to do more with dance class or express yourself through their body in a greater way, but you can’t because of that niggling problem. When you get rid of that niggling problem, it can really change your perspective. It can also be true in your day to day life. You might just not feel 100% and it stops you from being as involved with family or your work place.”
2. Work out why you haven’t made change yet
Perhaps you already know you want to feel better, but you’re not sure how. And it can be so overwhelming trying to work out whose advice to take when there are so many different so-called experts out there offering advice. Kylie’s approach is quite different, and involved four simple element.
“It’s important to understand that you have the knowledge already. You don’t need to keep seeking new things. Instead, bring it back to simplicity. How do you eat? How can you bring in extra nutrients through supplementation?. Simplicity in clean living also means removing some of the things you don’t need that could be having a negative impact on your health, but which you haven’t connected with how you feel. The fourth part is your mindset, or how you perceive your health.”
Kylie is modest. She doesn’t claim to know all the answers. What she does claim to do is to help you find what works for you, to discover the knowledge you already have, and to work out why you aren’t acting on that knowledge.
“Generally, once you see what we provide and see that you already knew how to eat well and are just choosing not to, you discover there is usually a reason why you choose not to. So when you do and find out something and you’ve got the information you realise you already knew that you should eat fruit and vegetables, and you need to cut back on breads and pastas etc. That’s when you mind really comes into play, because you realise you’ve built up a habit around that. It’s all about stripping it back and counteracting the habit. For example, when you go to the supermarket you need to present about the choices you are making.”
3. Find rewards that work
An important element in changing your behaviour, or habits, is getting an appropriate reward. And the important word here is ‘appropriate’.
“We are accustomed to feeling that when we’ve earnt a reward for doing something good we can reward ourselves through food. There’s nothing wrong with having cake, for example, but if you always reward yourself through cake, think about where that comes from. And wouldn’t it be better if I made a raw treat or beautiful smoothie, which might cost more but it feeds your body better. We can still have treats, but does it have to be one that is bad for your body? Strip it back and see how you view it in your mind. When you go to the supermarket and how you feel? Are you present with your own thoughts? So that’s just how we touch on it with the mind side of the program.”
4. Use self-talk to create a more positive mindset
Kylie touched on the use of reward, and making sure it’s an appropriate award. But she also went on to give me more tips about creating a mindset for success.
“The mind thing is about making you aware of what you can put in place. You can choose if you do it or not. Some of it will be your self-talk. What are you really telling yourself? Once you know that, you can reframe that in a way that makes you an observer of your language. Our program is a 90 day program, and every 30 days we build on that. The main things we talk about with language is the stories we tell ourselves and the habits we have created.”
Kylie talked about how she herself has used self-talk to keep her in the right mindset.
“I am an absolute chip fan. I love packet chips. My husband is often away for work so when it’s my down time, I feel that I’ve earnt to have my chips. But I have to go back and be aware and realise why I am seeing chips as a reward. They don’t really sustain me or made me feel good. Instead, they make me feel big, bloated and sick. Then I go into negative self-talk about how I shouldn’t have eaten them. So instead of I ask myself what I can have that helps me feel that I can relax now, and is actually going to be a better choice. So I don’t have cow’s cheese, but I have goat’s cheese on a nice healthy cracker. I’ll still get my crunch fix, and flavour. I had to be aware of what I was looking for when I ate the chips, and then put myself in the frame of mind where I was willing to look at my patterns and find a better way to fulfil that desire.”
5. Supplement your nutrition and your mindset
Right, so it’s all good to know what we should do, why we don’t do it, how to reward yourself, and how to pay attention to your self-talk. But Kylie also talks about what else you need to get to the next level, and this includes nutritional and mindset supplements.
“Supplementation can help your body push through some of the barriers to making change, because you are feeding it a higher level of nutrient. My life of education around this is to break through sometimes a ceiling or barrier that I have. Let’s say for example, energy. Sometimes food can push you through, but if I want to go to next level up I need supplements. When resistance comes in, if you’ve remove the cravings from insufficient nutrients, like minerals and good vitamins, you’re your resistance won’t be as great.”
“My clients generally share with me some of their key issues, and what that really means in their life. When they work with me I can remind them what they said about how its’ affecting their life. I remind them to stick with it, and help them find smaller rewards to get them there every step of the way. The biggest thing is to stay connected. When you meet resistance you have to stay connected to a purpose or a person of why you wanted that change. We do this in many ways, including affirmations and visualisations.”
6. Know your purpose
Kylie doesn’t just work with trite and generic affirmations and visualisations. She ties them to each individual’s purpose (their reason for wanting to make change).
“Let’s talk about energy. A common ‘purpose’ is to gain more energy to do the things I want to do (eg dancing, or going on a walking holiday). I had a lady who wanted to do some trekking overseas in the Canadian rocky mountains. She really had to improve her health and stick to that purpose. It wasn’t an easy path for her.”
Kylie suggests asking yourself what your goal actually means to you, because when you have purpose, you will feel more motivated.
“If you want more energy, ask yourself ‘what will it mean if I have more energy in my day? What will I get out of it?’. Like, I won’t be a cranky mum, flaked out on the couch while the kids are bothering me. Not being cranky when something at work blows up. I have the energy and the capacity to stay calm and deal with the problem at hand. Little things can make such a big difference. What we generally find is when you go back to remind people of little changes that could make a big impact down further, they realise that it would be worth it then. Let’s be honest, there is a cost factor for doing this program, it doesn’t come for free. Sometimes when people see further down the track they see it is worth more than the dollars in their life.”
7. Track down your inspiration
In the example above, Kylie spoke about improving wellbeing to achieve a goal of doing something. – trekking the Canadian Rockies. She also spoke about improving wellbeing to be a less cranky mum. She says that while it can be motivating to make change for your loved ones, that you also need to make the change for yourself.
“When someone tells me their purpose is a person that inspires them I ask them to take it back to themselves. It can be just for them, and reminding them that they are worth it. It really does come back to self when you connect with people. They might not see it to start with, but over time they do realise. Particularly busy mums or women with older children. They often put others first. It’s about reminding them to put themselves first so they can serve others.”
8. Affirm and visualise
“Within their first week that’s when you write out the affirmation and visualisation that you’ll be committed to for the first 30 days. We break it down to 30 days because it’s easier to break down shorter goals than 90 days.“
Here’s an example.
“A mum of four is just so over being tired. For her the affirmation would be something around ‘I no longer feel tired. I can get everything done that I need to get done throughout the day.’ Then she visualises herself in her everyday of life of being able to cope with a constant stream of to-do’s and remaining calm and present through that. It literally only takes a couple of minutes every day. She was very clear and definite about why she was doing the program so she can obtain that balance back in her life.”
9. Dig deep to work out what you really want
Often, Kylie finds that people come to her wanting to achieve something, but after a bit of digging they realise that thing is only a means to getting to something else that is even more important.
“The biggest one we find is people say they want to lose weight. And then when we drill down they say they want energy so I play with my kids or I want to feel better, and the weight loss is the side effect of that. Our mind often doesn’t allow us to access the concept of looking after themselves to start with. As they go through the program they realise how much it is their own choice first and foremost to look after themselves and put themselves first. But not everybody is ready to hear that.”
“I always meet them where they are at. Otherwise all I would meet is resistance, and I can’t help them if they are resistant. As they unfold and feel so much better about themselves they can start taking on another concept.”
“Energy and weight loss are the two biggest reasons people join the Mindbody Tuneup Program. However, often people don’t notice all those niggling things that are happening with their bodies. It is often joint pain, but people join pain is an after-thought because they are so used to living with it. I’m not saying that will go away but we really do find an improvement with inflammation. They won’t come directly out and say it. They think it’s to do with energy because their body is so tired. But they’re often tired because their body is in such high inflammation. When I start asking what else is happening, they mention their joints. And hormones is another big thing. They say they are just generally feel yuk. They don’t just feel good about themselves.”
10. Focus on what you can do
So many of the people that stop taking dance classes do so because they start to feel the aches and pains of age (and these can come on as early as your late 20s). It’s such a shame to see people give up something that they love and that is good for them because of pain. I asked Kylie about this, and whether it can be beaten.
“I used to dance three times a week for 10 years with my mum. She got to a point where she said she didn’t think she could do it. So I said just come and see what you can do. You might not be able to do it all, but you can still move, so work with your body. Don’t just stop.”
“Inflammation causes pain. It’s obviously something where the body is not balanced. The only way the body can communicate is through pain. So we are aware of it.”
I’ve heard and read a lot about inflammation lately, so when Kylie brought it up I asked her what causes it, and what we can do about it.
“Understand where inflammation might be coming from, and generally that is diet. I generally ask people if they are willing to remove some things from their diet to reduce inflammation. And then I give them some tips about what might help. Will it take it way completely? Probably not, but think about what you can do instead of what you can’t. One of the biggest causes is refined sugar. Sugar is not your friend. And in conjunction with that is carbohydrate which turns into sugar anyway. It’s our processed lifestyle. So in talking about what we can do …. we all know that fish oil and krill oil and very good for joints. Think about how that can work in your world.
Do you want to take the MindBody Tuneup?
Kylie is quick to point out that here knowledge has come from experience and self-directed learning, rather than from formal health qualifications.
“I am not a trained health care professional. All of my information is through my own health journey, and having a realisation that my own health journey may help someone else. Because I didn’t know where to turn to and I didn’t know who to talk to, and who to reach out to get started somewhere. Once I did find somewhere to start it was great.”
She didn’t start out by planning to work in this area. Instead, she went through her own health journey, then found that others asked her to help them as well. This started as informal gatherings with friends, and has now become a business.
“I don’t often share very much of my story. I just don’t feel that it’s very big. I didn’t have a near death experience of anything. Basically, it started when I was 12 and the doctors wanted to put me on the contraceptive pill to balance out my heavy periods so I could actually leave the house. My mother didn’t think this was an acceptable solution, so she looked for alternative, natural therapy. The problem was solved in three months, and I felt much better about myself. That held me in good stead throughout my life.”
“Then when we wanted to start a family it didn’t happen as quickly as I wanted to, so I delved into seeking more info and that is where my journey began. It’s more than exercise and eating kale. Our health is a myriad of things. That’s why I include the mind work as well. I started to do a lot more personal development and timeline work as well. Then about four or five years ago it stemmed into an idea. I use a brand of products people are always asking me about and how I dealt with it. I started running PD workshops and bringing in educators for health as well to go into further depth to what I was sharing. And that’s how the Body Tuneup started. Then it stemmed to meeting on a personal level to doing it online so I can have a greater reach.”
“Everyone has their own journey and as I said before, I don’t have a piece of paper or had formal study, but what I do know is I have a heart for helping people on their journey, whatever that may be. Living well doesn’t have to be as hard as you make it. Stop the rubbish with guilt around our health. We all think we could have done better here and here, and I love guiding people through that process and helping them move through some of their blockages. This can be the greatest help anyone can have. Seeing someone in a professional sense is just wanting to get a quick fix. That’s where our tool of the brand we recommend and the tools of knowing when you are getting into a habit and not being present. These are things we already do as human beings. We just allow distraction and stories to tell us that it is no longer required. We know better.”
The MindBody Tuneup Program a food guide and a seven day menu plan, with support through a Facebook group, and education. We always speak with our customers directly to first establish what their need is and if our program will help them or if it won’t be of service to them right now. If they want to lose 5kg in two weeks we’re not for you. We’re not about quick fixes.”
“From time to time we also have group connections via online video. We have found success with seeing people talk about their issue instead of just writing it. It’s harder to lie. Writing it down it’s easy to say that you did things that you didn’t actually do, and when you see someone or speak to them you know the difference, and that’s what we really want to see. Not just someone going through the motions and ticking a box. It has to be ticking a box for a reason.
3 tips to get you started
I asked Kylie if we could end the conversation with three tips for anyone thinking about making positive changes to their health and wellbeing.
“First, make a decision. We spend so much time on the though process of should I, shouldn’t I. If we just got started when we first thought about it we would be half way there. Make a decision on truly understanding what you want.”
“Second, if you don’t already have a plan in or program in place, work out what it will be. Make sure you understand what it means to commit to it.”
“Finally, I’d say be accountable, find someone to help you be accountable. When we are accountable to ourselves only it’s not enough. Women love doing things together, so do it with a friend or loved one who really has your true interests at heart. Being part of a group and verbalising what you plan to do, making it public, can start to bring the change forward. That’s what starts that change happening and putting those cogs in motion. Drawing a line in the sand. Everything and answers about the how will come to you.”
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